"As Always, Dawg Daze Publications Does It Again"

Page last screwed up 21 February 2000

Roger Williams (circa '64 - '66) writes: Overlooking it's remoteness of being "high on a mountain high", one thing Linkou had going for it was a mess hall (a.k.a. dining facility) that was without equal. The food was unmatched and the décor exceptional to say the least. And the high point of that décor was a "fish pond" setting as you entered the facility that had a wide variety of fish swimming therein that gathered much attention from our many visitors and permanent party alike.

The year was 1966 and it was a day like any other except our "dining facility" was scheduled for an inspection from the Air Force's Hennessey Trophy team which (for the winner) meant that your base had the finest "mess hall" in the AF. And that, my friends, puts a Peacock size feather in a Commander's cap, not to mention a guaranteed "outstanding" APR for the NCOIC of the dining facility.

Here we were, attending the daily staff meeting in Operations when a Sgt from the Dining facility came running in and with the reddest face I've ever seen says, "the fish are dead". Our Commander, now having the "reddest face" I've ever seen, jumps up and more or less led the charge to the mess hall.

Sure enough, here was this beautiful "fish pond" centerpiece looking more like a fish market than a work of art. Somehow, every fish in that pond had passed on to that great aquarium in the sky. We just stood there with our mouth's wide open and experiencing a proverbial "pregnant pause" when the Commander, figuring we were only a step or two ahead of the Hennessey inspection team, dropped to his knees and began pulling dead fish from the fountain. Of course, we also assumed "the position" and had the pond cleaned up in pretty quick order.

Roger adds that he was willing to answer one of the questions we all have and leave you guessing on the other. Yes, Linkou did win the Hennessey Award for 1966 and was deemed the best of the best for that year. On your second question, you be the judge on what the Hennessey inspection team had for lunch the day they arrived. Hint - it was a Friday.

"Hi, We are Din & Din"

Lemmon adds: Roger and I were Linkou alumni during the same years and although I had left before this particular incident, I do remember the "fish pond" and the great food. And if my memory serves me right, dead fish in the "pond" wasn't all that uncommon considering the cigarette butts and other "unfish food" thrown in there. I believe the Chow hall NCOIC just called in a "cleaning crew", scoured the pond out, and restocked. I'm assuming that, on this special day, the Hennessey inspection team was probably on the tarmac at Taipei Air Station and time was limited.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEE! What's for Dinner?"

Roger goes on to tell us a few more stories that leaves no doubt that the "Officer's lounge" wasn't the gourmet establishment we were led to believe and really didn't have anything on our Base Snack bar.

Have any of you ever referred to something to eat with the adjectives "big" and "fat" like in "I sure wish I had a "big, fat, hotdog with all the trimmings"? I know I have.

While Roger and some of his buddies were having lunch in the Officer's lounge one of the guys, with a craving for an all-American style sandwich, asked the waitress to bring him a "big, fat, ham sandwich". Forgetting that his order took forever to arrive, the look on his face must have been something else when he bit into that masterpiece. You guessed it, the sandwich was made up entirely of ham "fat". This is a perfect example of why the Taiwanese are known world wide for their willingness to please. (Note: you know the kitchen staff was laughing up a storm on this one - "G.I. order sandwich made of ham fat - dah!")

"Hi there, my Name is Porkeeee and I am Your WaitPerson For the Evening"

And you think the "ham fat" or is that "fat ham" sandwich in the Officer's lounge was the ultimate of "failing to communicate", ordering the "hamburger deluxe" in the Base Snack Bar could also be dangerous to your brain cells. In those days, the only difference between a "regular hamburger" and the "deluxe" was an order of "fries".

Roger relates that one of his buddies ordered the "deluxe", paid the bill, and on looking at his plate, asked, The reply was quite honest to say the least, "we all out of fries, you come back tomorrow".

The question on this story is obvious! Did Roger's friend have a regular hamburger and leave a nice tip or leave nothing and go back the next day for his fries?

And after a wonderful meal at their favorite restaurant, Roger and his buddies retired to the Officer's "entertainment center" (Smile Roger - after all, this is a "Humor site")

Throwing in his two cents, Lemmon adds: thanks to "Baker" flight in "64 - '65, we had the cooks in the "NCO Lounge" trained to have "fried rice" available on the breakfast menu. After working a grave shift and having to wait for the 8 o'clock smoker to town, we were ready for dinner and the only eggs we wanted were those "scrambled" in the fried rice. I fondly remember playing the "pinball" machine just inside the front door, packing my face with fried rice and sucking down a "screwdriver". And it was only 7:00 in the morning - what a life?

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